Most of us spend our lives chasing something we think we don’t have: success, confidence, peace, love.
But the truth is, we’re not missing anything, we’ve just forgotten how to recognize what’s already inside of us.
From a young age, we’re taught to search for answers in the wrong places. We’re told to follow the rules, check the boxes, and wait for someone else to tell us what’s right and if we’re enough.
So we stop trusting ourselves. We lose touch with that inner voice that actually knows the way.
But when we do that, we stop listening to the thing that actually knows: our own inner voice.
That gut feeling that tells you when you’re off. The one that whispers when it’s time to move on, level up, or let go.
In a recent podcast, my guest Stef said something that really landed: “Most people don’t even realize they’re living out someone else’s story.”
Man, that hit me. How often do we chase goals that were never even ours? How many times have we followed the blueprint and still ended up feeling empty?
I remember early in my career, I was thriving in real estate, selling more homes than I ever imagined, even breaking company records.
On the surface, I had it all: success, recognition, financial stability. But beneath that facade, I felt disconnected from my core beliefs.
I was chasing achievements, thinking they would fill the void, but they never did.
It took stepping back and confronting the shame and emptiness I felt to realize that true fulfillment wasn't in the accolades or the numbers, it was in aligning my life with who I truly was.
Growth isn’t always about adding. Sometimes it’s about subtracting. Removing the masks. Shedding the shame. Breaking the old narratives that kept you playing small.
We think healing means going out to find something new. But most of the time, it’s just about
getting back to who you already are.
Stef and I talked about relationships, masculinity, trusting your intuition — and underneath all of it was this theme: You don’t become worthy—you realize you always were.
But you’ve got to clear space to feel it. You’ve got to stop numbing, stop running, stop hiding behind performance. That’s when the real you shows up.
You don’t need another book, another seminar, or another guru. You need to slow down. You need to remember.
You need to stop outsourcing your intuition and start asking better questions:
• What would my life look like if I trusted myself more?
• What if I’m not broken, just buried?
• What if freedom isn’t found in achieving but in releasing?
Every man I work with thinks he needs to “fix” something before he can be happy, whole, or powerful.
But it’s not always about fixing. It’s about reconnecting.
That’s what Stef reminded me of. That’s the energy I want to live in.
So here’s what you’re going to do, take 10 minutes today with no distractions, no noise, and ask yourself this question:
“Where did I stop trusting myself?”
Write it down. Sit with it. Let the truth surface.
That’s how you begin.
COACHINGMY BOOKSABOUTPODCASTSBLOGSPEAKINGCONTACT.png)