This past week there was a wedding in Italy that was essentially one of the most extravagant and expensive weddings maybe of all time. Jeff Bezos, worth over $250 billion, got married to Lauren Sanchez and every A-lister in the world seemed to fly their private jet in for the event.
I am all for celebrating life and so I don’t want to knock the party. In fact, the $50 million wedding is the equivalent to Jeff Bezos as a $400 wedding would be to the average American based on their net worth. (This is an actual stat, by the way.)
What I noticed and continue to notice is this chase that so many people like Jeff Bezos find themselves in, and it never seems to be enough. Just a few months ago he was one of the first ever people to commercially fly into space. He threw a bubble bath party on his super yacht like he was back in college enjoying the latest frat party. And his new wife has done so much plastic surgery that she looks like a comic book version of the beautiful woman she used to be.
What causes one to do all of this? Something I think about when I see this is how much I think these wealthy people truly miss what would make them happier. Why not just give an amazing pay raise to all of the people you employ and make their experience a much better one? Amazon is notorious for being one of the worst work environments in the corporate world.
What makes somebody happy?
I can tell you what does not… the excessive chase for more.
In the movie Wall Street there is a famous line when they ask Michael Douglas’ character how much money is enough. The man in the movie is miserable and has traded everything that should have actually mattered in life for the relentless pursuit of “more.” The answer he gives is so telling of this mindset. He replies, “A little bit more.”
I had a coach about a decade ago that taught me one of the best lessons of my life. He shared with me this concept of humans getting their needs met no matter what. He gave me a test to show me what my biggest needs were. Tony Robbins talks about this in the same way in his famous retreat Unleash the Power Within. The key to life isn’t whether we get these needs met — we will always figure out how to get them met. It’s how we go about doing it.
There are essentially two ways to get our needs met:
When I watch Jeff Bezos and so many others like him, you can see that he is constantly trying to get his needs met externally. This is exhausting and never ending. You are filling a bucket with holes in it. You can throw the biggest wedding in the world or go to outer space and you won’t be fulfilled. This is the oldest lesson in time. We saw kings and rulers destroy entire civilizations trying to fill this bucket.
The older I get, the more I try to get my needs met by internal sources. Connection to loved ones, amazing friendships with depth and no masks. A sound mind and a peaceful afternoon where you truly enjoy sitting with yourself in nature. Helping others with no expectations in return. Caring for someone who has been forgotten. Helping solve a problem that only you have the answer to.
There are a lot of wealthy people on the planet. 22 million millionaires in the United States alone. How many people have true wealth? The best definition I ever heard is this…
“The three most valuable things in life are a mind at peace, a healthy body, and loving relationships.”
None of these can be bought and I think God intended it that way. You can’t outsource them, you can’t buy them, and you can’t shortcut them. You either do the work and get the result or you do not.
Next time you catch yourself seeking that external validation, ask yourself what you truly need. Make a list of ways you can get that need met internally instead.
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