For years, men have been told that strength means handling everything on their own. That success comes from grinding in silence, never asking for help, and figuring it all out solo. I used to believe that too. But the truth is, no man becomes great by doing it alone. The strongest men I know are the ones who surround themselves with other strong men.
We weren’t meant to go through life isolated.
Look back at history, and you’ll see that men have always operated in groups. Whether it was warriors, builders, or leaders shaping civilizations, men thrived when they had others around them who pushed them forward. Somewhere along the way, we lost that.
Society started telling men that independence meant isolation. That asking for guidance was weakness. That keeping your struggles to yourself was the right thing to do. But that’s when men start to drift. When you don’t have people keeping you accountable, you lose your edge. You start making excuses. You lower your standards, and before you know it, you’re stuck in a life you never intended to live.
I see this every day in We Are The They. Guys come in thinking they’re doing just fine—until they realize how much they’ve been missing. They’ve been carrying the weight of their struggles alone, and the second they step into a group of men who actually get it, everything shifts.
Suddenly, they have people who push them to be better. They have men who aren’t afraid to call them out when they’re playing small. They have a support system that holds them accountable, challenges them, and refuses to let them settle for less than they’re capable of.
During a recent podcast, Adam Allred shared something that hit home. He talked about going through a tough divorce and realizing he had been following the wrong playbook. He thought being the 'nice guy'—giving more, sacrificing more, trying to please everyone—would make things work.
It didn’t.
And it wasn’t until he started surrounding himself with men who had been through similar struggles that he saw what real masculinity looked like. It wasn’t about trying harder to make other people happy. It was about having a mission, standing firm in who you are, and being around men who challenge you to grow instead of enabling your excuses.
That’s what brotherhood does.
Most men wait until life forces them to change. They wait until their relationship is in crisis,
their motivation is gone, or they feel completely lost before they start looking for answers.
You don’t have to wait for the breaking point.
Find your people now. Surround yourself with men who challenge you, who inspire you, who hold you to a higher standard. That’s what We Are The They is about. It’s not just a group—it’s a movement of men who refuse to play small.
So if you’re feeling stuck, if you’re tired of doing this alone, maybe it’s time to step into something bigger. The next retreat is coming up—come see what brotherhood is all about.
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