Tomorrow I am launching the fifth group for my leadership program inside We Are The They. There is so much excitement to this as I know what this program will do for the 50 men that take the jump and bet on themselves.
I am also a little sad because it means that my inaugural group is finishing the program and their final event will be at the end of this month. It has caused me to pause and reflect a lot on what I have personally taken away from this program and what this time has meant to me.
I never could have imagined the impact this program would have had on me and the other men. I can look at every single member and see growth in some way or another. For some of them it was simply learning to love themselves, for others it was finally looking at a lifetime of unhealed trauma. For others it was more simple and they will walk away from this with amazing memories and lifelong friendships.
For me, it is all the above and so much more. Rather than write a few pages about it, I will use some bullet points and share what I have learned these first 2 ½ years running this men’s coaching program..
1. Men are amazing. They want to be good so badly. Every single guy in the program wants to be a great husband, a great father, and a great friend. They want to show up in a way that makes them feel proud of themselves and respected by others.
2. It’s really hard to do “the work”. As the program progressed and layers were stripped away it surprised me to learn that life keeps coming at you. There are always new trials and new things to work on and improve. Relationships that were healing still break, cancer that was in remission can come back, old habits die hard. What I was proud of was the capacity of the men to handle it and to show up and support each other.
3. True happiness is never in what we get, only in what we give. Part of this program is me recreating amazing moments that I experienced and adding them to the program so that they can have a similar effect on these mens lives. Going to my favorite place in Africa, running with the bulls, getting vulnerable with my friends, etc.. And I can say that sharing it with others is always so much more fulfilling than experiencing it for myself.
4. Consistency is the only thing that wins over time. You have to show up and do the right things regardless of the outcome. That is all that we control and when we do that, everything else eventually falls into place.
5. The things in life that have the most value are the hardest to achieve because they can’t be bought and they have to be maintained at all times;
A Healthy Body
A Peaceful Mind
Loving Relationships
Everything else is a bonus and is nice but these are the 3 things that have the most value in life.
6. True friendship is a must. The lone wolf gets eaten up in todays world. I need my guy friends just like everyone else. We need friends that love us enough to say, “I don’t like that at all and I’m going to love you as you work to be better.” I’m so grateful that I have friends that love me enough to not let me sit in my own bullshit.
7. Above everything else, people need to be seen. I think it’s easy to love someone but it’s so much more when we get seen. The level of understanding and appreciation for our situation. My mentor Ed Mylett is famous for telling people, “Let me tell you about you” and then pouring into another. This one thing, to see another, will motivate them to change quicker than anything else we can do.
I could come up with 100 more lessons I have learned these past 30 months, maybe one day I will throw them all in a book or something? For now, I’m just honored to be on this path step by step with so many amazing friends.
If you are looking to join a community like this, we are open as of tomorrow for the first time in 7 months! Take a chance on yourself and come join the most incredible group of like minded, hard working, God fearing, and family loving men. Come see what we are all about at We Are The They!